The titmouse and the beaver got to talkin' one fine day / They hit the beach for spotted dick to chase their blues away / They both agreed the worst part of their lives had been their names / But at least they weren't from Titicaca / Or they'd both be dead of shame
The monkey and the chicken just happened to overhear / They had their own name issues and they wanted to make it clear / 'Although we both agree your names have always been a curse / People spank and choke us, which is totally much worse'
Then a bunch of oddballs came strollin' up the sand / To tell the group that suggestive names weren't just reserved for land / 'Talk is cheap but just try to imagine if you can / The kind of jokes you get when you've got crabs around a clam'
It seems like all these animals turned out to have it bad / The all got dragged down to the gutter and it makes 'em really sad / Lookin' for a moral? Well, There's only one to find / Man's the only animal that can have a dirty mind