Kielbasa In My Pants

VERSE ONE

It started back in high school, right before the prom / I was a little nervous when I pulled my trousers on / Although I went to the ball alone, I never missed a dance / It must have been my smile,  or the kielbasa in my pants

CHORUS ONE

Oscar Mayer ain't got nothin' on me / I'm all grown up as you can see / Abe Froman can finally step down / Cause there's a new sausage king in town

VERSE TWO

I headed off to college, and life was going good / I got the nickname 'Lumberjack' because of morning wood / I graduated cum loudly and I finally got the chance / To introduce the world to the kielbasa in my pants

CHORUS TWO

Oscar Mayer ain't got nothin' on me / The student body loves it, you can see / Abe Froman can finally step down / Cause there's a new sausage king in town

VERSE THREE

I got a job at a country club, and it was goin' great / The ladies used to pay me to take 'em out on dates / I got a reputation as a master of romance / It must have been my charm, or the kielbasa in my pants

CHORUS THREE

Oscar Mayer ain't got nothin' on me / My dancecard's full as you can see / Abe Froman can finally step down / Cause there's a new sausage king in town

VERSE FOUR

One while on vacation, I was hiking through the woods / A gypsy fortuneteller said that she could tell me good / She said my Dad was Polish even though he came from France / She said there was no doubt from the kielbasa in my pants

CHORUS FOUR

Oscar Mayer ain't got nothin' on me / My bloodline's strong as you can see / Abe Froman can finally step down / Cause there's a new sausage king in town

VERSE FIVE

I applied for a job at Chippendale's, but I didn't really know / If I had the type of talent that could really stop the show / The chick who did the hiring gave me more than a second glance / It must have been my moves, or the kielbasa in my pants

CHORUS FIVE

Oscar Mayer ain't got nothin' on me / I'm dancing on the bar as you can see / Abe Froman can finally step down / Cause there's a new sausage king in town

VERSE SIX

Well, now I am retired and I live the leisure life / A beautiful rich socialite became my lovely wife / The first time that she met me, it was like she was entranced / And i know I owe it all to the kiebasa in my pants

CHORUS SIX

Oscar Mayer ain't got nothin' on me / I'm livin' pretty large as you can see / Abe Froman can finally step down / Cause there's a new sausage king in town

Oscar Mayer ain't got nothin' on me / I'm livin' pretty large as you can see / Abe Froman can finally step down / Cause there's a new sausage king in town

- 'Dirty Dozen' 12 Gauge Turtlegunn: Guest Vocals (Byrd's inner child)